Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
