My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
we should paint friendship bongs
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