Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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