The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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