I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
