iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
