Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
