I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
