gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
