Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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