remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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