i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
