Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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