i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
