Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
