Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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