I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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