Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
