no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
