Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
