The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
