The maid of honor just puked.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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