sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
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I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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