problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
