And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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