i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize