No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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