I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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