She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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