let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
