I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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