i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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