So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
