wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
