You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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