As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
