I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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