Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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