like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i will never coherently bang her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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