It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
