Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize