Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
