that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
