It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
