i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
