she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
