I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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