Whod you bang
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
