Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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