if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My hand turned me down
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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