i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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