We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
