walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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