Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
