): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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