I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize