I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
