My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
