I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
